rant

i am so stressed, angry and tired at work today i am seriously considering taking up smoking again, yeah yeah i know lung cancer blah blah blah….but i’m so busy i never go out and take my lunch breaks and get some fresh air…this way i will, albeit a tobacco smoke filled fresh air….and no one can deny it, it just looks damn cool!!!

all these iconic images cannot be lying to me…….

Audrey Hepburn - Holly Golightly

Helmut Newton - Le Smoking

Mia - Pulp Fiction

Marilyn Monroe

look at them yelling spark up missy! iwaaaaaaant!

x0x0

clever friends – binty

i call her Bint but to everyone else she’s Rohini…she’s a interior stylist & she’s fantastic! she also contributes to magazine’s like Spaces & sometimes she even takes me along to help her with commissions & shoots & got me to write this blog, in fact she generally bosses me about on a daily basis.

she’s another one i met at uni, who was doing photography & we all quickly discovered she was much better at taking pics of inanimate objects rather than people….no offence love. Roh’s work is dream like…kooky….& straight out of Alice in Wonderland or Grimm’s fairy tales i wish i could make a pile of books look this lovely….

she writes an incredibly sweet blog too have look http://thebeatthatmyheartskipped.wordpress.com/you’ll notice she loves to take pictures of the food she eats !

xoxo

SUSHI BEAST

so i have just got home from stuffing my face with tasty sushi & Asahi beer at Yo!Sushi in Selfridges with my flatmate…..man it was TASTY !

check out our stack of plates !

***celebrity spot of the day*** Pete Burns munching on conveyorbelt sushi with gal pal in Selfridges Yo!Sushi

***random food spot of the day*** MONKEY TEA…yeah tea picked by actual monkeys!

anyway ….so as we were in the West End we thought we’d have a little looky around the shops….i might have bought a very cute dress in new look…and some gold snakeskin pumps in dorothy perkins…oopps

***ridiculous quote of the day*** heard from the lips of the changing room girl of dorothy perkins Marble Arch, as my flatmate was trying on a size 10 dress that looked fantastic, she bullied her into putting on a size 8, which looked ok but she was not comfortable in. When the changing room girl was informed that the 10 was fine she said —-”ok don’t listen to me, i’m ONLY a merchandiser & have done a fashion degree”—- right now lets look at this again she’s the changing room girl….if she’s such a super-duper fashionista then :

a) why is she wearing  jeans & a top that are AT LEAST one size too small, giving her the look of a creased sausage. anyone who understands the fit of a garment knows that it it fits properly it always looks better

b) why is she only working as the changing room girl of the DP’s in Marble Arch….why aren’t you working in the head office as a buyer or designer?

c) where did she do this “fashion degree” is this fact maybe an exaggerated AS level in textiles?

d) what happened to the retail mantra “the customer is always right”

you don’t get this treatment for the sales assistants in Slefridges, they just look down their nose at you because they are able to immediatly tell you can’t afford that Westwood dress your trying on….

xoxo

p.s. i also bought some little chocolate & strawberry flavoured biscuits in the shape of Pandas in the selfridges food hall

:(

i think i’m coming down with a nasty cold….i think going to work today was a huge mistake, but tonight i am going to cheer myself up and watch Heathers, a most brilliant 80′s teen film! i know i’m probably the last person to watch it……it was free in a sunday paper yesterday & everyone i’ve spoken to has already watched it!

Just check out the shoulders….and the hair…oh !

Christian Slater & Winona Ryder in the 80′s on a motorbike is the cure for any ailment i’d say

send me get well thoughts pleeeeease!

i can’t stand being sick, almost as much as i can’t stand lateness.

xoxo

pah

Also something that pissed my off this morning….right I get the overground train from Stratford to Camden Road twice a day to & from work.

 

the train starts at Stratford, so usually it pulls up to the platform a few minutes earlier than displayed on the little screen by the platform telling you when the trains are due. Despite this being known well by all of the regular users of this route, they still insist on pushing & shoving their way on into the carriage in such a rush to sit there on the scummy train (because everyone always gets a seat as well) for 5 mins before it actually pulls away. I sear someone was grabbing my bum this morning as I got wedged between to fat women as they both made for the doors…maybe it was me grabbing my own bum….I’m told it’s kinda nice, I just think it’s big.

 

Anyway all I have to say to the Stratford commuters is “Chill Your Boots – everyone will get on the train, they are not going to leave without you, just SLOW down”

Although once getting off the train I was shouted at my this fatty cow for taking my time getting off the train at Stratford, for being too slow. “Just get off the train you stupid cow” she hollered. Yes sure thing misses, let me just shove this young lady in front of me out of the carriage, across the gap & on to the platform, so then I can get off to make way for you 4ft wide ass.

Chunky cow

 

I do hate public transport so, I do miss having a car ever so! in fact I can’t stand other people  on public transport….uggh get away from me!

 

p.s. ROHINI WAHI YOU HAVE OPENED THE FLOOD GATES OF RANTY-NESS NOW

philip

The Rant is back everyone…..i think I’ve just been in a very placid mood the last few months. I would like to rant about 2 other topics in addition to the following, but 1 of them is about work & would be horrifically depressing (cut a long story short, work made me cry & want to jump into a canal on Monday) & the other might get me in a teensy bit of a awkward situation….so the following rant it shall be:

 

Well me & the misses (Miss Pink or Flangela as she is better known) had the smashing idea of getting ourselves a little pet for our little flat. Yes I know we had Bernard the violent repressed homosexual goldfish, but he did die some time ago. Miss Pink did want to get a Party Harding puppy (French bulldog) but it wasn’t fair to keep it shut in the flat whilst we were out cavorting & binge drinking & playing with unsuitable fellas.

 

So we decided to get a kitten, as they are nice & clean & sleep for most of the day & will still give us cuddles…well as long as we get a nice little girl kitty. In fact we were going to call it Philip…after the kitten in a barrel that Naboo uses to calm Howard in the first series of the Boosh.

 

So obviously we got very excited about this & Miss Pink in her excitement told EVERYONE she was getting a cat…then remembered we rent our flat so need to check with the landlord first…..this is where it went wrong, he’s a Cat-ist Cat Hater! NO CATS! In fact I think it was NO PETS full stop!!!

 

Just because he’s a little bit allergic to them! What’s the big deal he doesn’t live with us, he only comes round if something’s broken. Also he said that someone who lived in the flat after us might be allergic….we aren’t leaving the Cat there when we move…and we will clean the place before we move also…..if this is the situation we should stop eating nuts / wheat / dairy etc in case someone who come to the flat is allergic, I mean for goodness sake, it’s just a cat, not a Panda! (a suggestion made by Miss Pink at one point when we saw some baby pandas on a David Attenborough programme)

 

So now we are left sad & pet-less! To cheer me up Flangela suggested a “cuddly” iguana…..i don’t want a stupid iguana, even if it meant I had an air of Snoop Dogg about the flat….i want to get started on my pramful of kittens goddamn it all!!!!!!!!!!

 

xoxo

travelling lady

On my way down to visit my lovely friends in Bristol, i caught the train from Paddington. i think the wonderfully ornate-ness of some of the older London stations is something that remains oblivious to the “head down, must get to work commuter” i say lift up your head, for surely it’ll give you a bad neck stomping along all hunched up & just have a look at things…if only for a couple of minutes.

travelling south west on the train always gives me that little buzz of excitement that I’m heading home….although it wasn’t quite all the way to Cornwall…well not even close really! but i think i need to get myself down there as soon as possible as the craving for clean air & beautiful countryside is almost getting little too much to bare

xoxo

meh….

that’s my description of being at work today….meh….i am losing the drive to keep going…i’d also like to staple things to annoying peoples heads right about now….maybe they’d leave me alone then…id like to do it with one of these fellas :

Terrier Stapler from thedailyplanner.com

Handi Stapler fro Office Playground Inc.

Monty Python Killer Rabbit Stapler

xoxo

winter nights

i’ve had enough of it getting dark at 4.30pm….hurry up summer daylight hours!!! i cannot wait to be able to come home from work in daylight again…it doesn’t help i work in Camden & weirdys come out after sunset either

HURRY UP SUMMER TIME!!! AMBERBEWRONG MISSES YOU!

something old, something new

it seems i’ve reached the age where it seems like most of my friends are:

1. getting engaged

2. getting mortgages

3. getting babies

or combinations of the above…now i think i’ve done something wrong somewhere along the line to be nowhere near getting any of these 3…well point 3 is definitly off the menu, my mother is not ready to be a granny just yet !

anywhooo point 2 is not going to happen anytime soon either due to my poorly paid job….point 1…well i don’t even have a boyfriend so i’m not expecting any suitors to spring rings upon me in the near future.

but wait! i have not abandoned all hope of it happening…especially since i’ve already picked my dress & shoes…yes yes i hear you say what are you some kind of mad marrige obessed singleton akin to a certain miss B.Jones?

well…maybe a bit, but i think it’s in a girls genes to dream about their wedding day, the dress, the shoes….oh my!

i want to have dress like Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face…obviously i will not look like Audrey Hepburn as i will never be THAT skinny & this dress with go with a pair of hot pink sling backs…preferrable Christian Louboutin.

my dress

oh the shoes....the shoes!

all this isn’t that crazy is it?? it’s not like i’ve got the venue & wedding list drawn up!

it’s nice to dream though!

xoxo

p.s. if anyone knows the reason i’m not getting anywhere near point 1…..answers on a postcard